Welcome Home Party
by iheartremma
Summary: Regina has a little too much to drink at Emma and Mary-Margaret's welcome home party. 2 part. Not to be taken seriously at all, was just a bit of fun!
1. Chapter 1

_One shot crack fic. Regina has a little too much to drink at Emma and Mary-Margaret's Welcome Home party.._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Overflowing glasses of beer clanked together throughout the night, and cheers erupted as toasts were made to celebrate the return of Emma and Mary-Margaret, and welcome them home.

When no one was paying attention to her, Emma slipped through the crowd and made her way to one of the booths by the window, where Henry was sitting by himself. She sat opposite him, grinning widely at her son.

"Hey, Henry."

He smiled, but he looked sheepish. "Hi."

She gave him a quick suspicious glance before asking, "Where's Your mom? Wasn't she here with you a minute ago?"

Henry sighed. "She's in the bathroom." He paused and Emma raised her eyebrows waiting for an for him to continue. "Throwing up."

Emma furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

"She's kind of, uh..."

It was at that moment when the brunette came stumbling out of the bathroom and staggered across the diner, just about keeping her balance. Her usually tanned skin was now pale in colour, and her jet black hair was sticking up. Her eyeliner was starting to run and her lips no longer painted a deep red. She tried her best to compose herself and walk with her usual elite manor, but the excessive amount of alcohol in her system making it nearly impossible.

Emma put her head in one of her hands in embarrassment. "You can't be serious." She muttered to herself.

After several attempts at trying to pull herself onto one of the bar stools, Regina finally sat down, legs crossed and arms folded on the counter.

"One large whiskey please." She drawled.

Granny shook her head. "Sorry, Regina, but I think you've had enough, don't you?"

Regina narrowed her eyes. She was swaying slightly on the stool. "You know what?" She leaned an elbow on the side and pointed a finger in the air. "I _have_ had enough." She swivelled around so that she was facing the rest of the people in the diner, and pointed in their general direction. "Enough of these bitches." Her speech was starting to slur more and more with each sentence.

She grinned at the gasps and whispers coming from the patrons. Mary-Margaret and David looked at each other with their mouths open and an angry Leroy shouted. "Then leave, we don't want you here anyway! Emma inviting you was a bad idea." He was holding the knife in his hand that he had picked up when Regina first walked in.

Grabbing onto the counter side she tried to manoeuvre herself off the stool to get to Lerory and tell him exactly what she thought of him. But instead, the completely inebriated and disoriented mayor lost her balance, and went crashing onto the floor.

"MOTHERFUCKER." She shouted.

The word choice caused Mary-Margaret to put a hand over her mouth and her eyes grew wide, almost popping out of her skull.

It was time for Emma to intervene. She quickly slid from the booth and knelt down beside the the brunette, who was rubbing her forehead (there was no doubt going to be a bruise there tomorrow) and cursing under her breath.

She put her hand around her silk covered arm. "Regina-"

"DON'T" she snatched her arm away, "touch me." She lifted her head in an attempt to regain some of her authority, and looked down her nose at Emma. "Do you know who I am?"

"An embarrassment." Emma retorted.

"I am the _Queen._"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay." She reached out and took Regina's arm again and dragged her to her feet, this time ignoring her protests. "Come on."

"Miss Swan." She slurred.

Emma practically dragged the older woman outside and sat her down at one of the tables. "You're a really vexatious drunk, you know that?"

"And you're fucking annoying without being drunk." Regina remarked.

"Wow, verbally abusive too." She shook her head and threw her hands up in the air. "Seriously, Regina? I invited you here to spend time with Henry, not get completely wasted!"

The brunette groaned in pain. "My head hurts."

"Yeah, that tends to happen when you face plant a hard surface."

Regina started to stand up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Emma asked.

She ignored her.

Emma watched, amused, as Regina tried to walk back towards the diner. She was extremely unstable and was so intoxicated she didn't realise she was only wearing shoe, the other discarded from her fall from the bar stool. It was when an invisible gravitational force appeared to pull Regina almost to the other end of the outdoor dining area, that Emma had to run up and catch her before she went crashing onto the ground for the second time that night. As expected, Regina pushed her away and slipped back into the diner, Emma following behind with her bottom lip between her teeth.

Leroy was the first to turn around and see her. "Not you again!"

"Shut up, Leroy." Emma spat back.

David quickly made his way over to the older, drunk woman. "Regina, why don't you come and and sit down-"

She jumped back and threw her arms up in the air dramatically, as if something vile and terrifying just touched her. "Get back, Shepard boy."

David put his hands up in surrender. The atmosphere in the diner started to grow quiet and slightly awkward as the brunette stumbled around, verbally abusing anyone in her eyeline.

She made her way over to a table, tripping and almost falling onto it, and picked up a half empty glass of beer, and started tapping a spoon she had also found on the table against the glass. "I would like to make a toast." She announced.

"To the residents of Storybrooke," She held up the glass in front of her. A few people also held up their glasses hesitantly, feeling pressured to do so by the glare she was giving them. She then grinned, her Evil Queen grin and said with the upmost sincerity in her voice, "Fuck you all. Thank you, and goodnight." She then downed the glass and without warning fell, once more, onto the floor. This time unconscious.

Emma cringed as everyone looked at her, gob smacked. And she couldn't help but giggle to herself as she watched the peacefully sleeping woman on the floor. "Well, shit."

_Thanks for reading! This really wasn't to be taken seriously haha. Reviews would be greatly appreciated! xo_

_P.S I may write a part two for this, haven't decided yet though._


	2. The Morning After

_Hey thank you for your reviews! I'm so glad you liked the last chapter :) so here's part 2-The Morning After.__  
_

* * *

Regina awoke to an excessive nauseating feeling in the pit of her stomach, and an excruciating pain ripping through her head.

"Ow." She groaned as she smoothed her hand over the raised area on her forehead. She sat up slowly and threw the sheets back so that they were just draped over her knees. Then she shuffled to the edge of the bed and rested her feet on the soft plush carpet, her hand still on her head.

It took her a few minutes of sitting there like that until the sickness and dizziness started to pass. When she felt it was safe to do so, she stood up.

And what a mistake that was.

The room started to spin around her and she doubled over as the sickness immediately returned. "Shit." She mumbled. Half bent over, she ran towards the bathroom in the most ungraceful and unladylike way. One hand now clutching her stomach and the other clamped over her mouth. Luckily she made it. Just in time. She got up from where she was kneeling over the toilet seat and inspected herself in the mirror, jaw dropping open as she saw the huge black and blue bruise on the upper right of her forehead. What the hell had she been doing last night?

She quickly washed her face, black eyeliner running down the plug hole and pulled on a grey robe over her silk pyjamas, then started to make her way downstairs. That's when she heard something. Someone was in the kitchen.

She froze. Her head was still spinning and her stomach started to ache.

She grabbed the nearest thing to her. A picture frame which she unhooked carefully from the wall, and slowly she walked to the kitchen, holding it in front of her. She was almost there. She could hear movement in the kitchen. She could smell something too. It smelled like...coffee? She pushed the door and it creaked slightly. And then she saw someone's shadow.

And she freaked out and threw the large frame across the room while shouting "INTRUDER", and watched it smash against one of the cupboards and fall to pieces on the kitchen floor.

"What the hell!?" A voice shouted. A familiar voice.

A blonde figure dressed in a red leather jacket and dark blue jeans emerged from around the corner, and Regina shrank back to lean on the door. Half from embarrassment, half because she could barely stand without swaying.

"Miss Swan?" She asked, eyes comically wide.

Emma looked her up and down, taking in the other woman's ragged appearance. "Woah, you look like hell."

"What are doing you in my house?!" The brunette snapped, suddenly furious."

"You really don't remember anything, do you?"

Regina just stared blankly at her.

"Remember...remember what?"

"I knew you wouldn't. That's what happens when you get drunk, Regina." She rolled her eyes then slid a mug of piping hot coffee across the counter towards the brunette. She stepped forward hesitantly and wrapped her manicured fingers around the mug, tapping her nails against it.

"I was drunk?"

"Yes. And it wasn't pretty."

"I didn't make a complete fool of myself did I?"

Emma bit her lip. She thought for a second about whether or not to tell her everything she did last night.

"And how did I get this bruise?" She asked pointing to her forehead.

"You fell from a bar stool and faced planted the floor." She replied casually, as if it wasn't a completely odd conversation to be having at 8am in Regina's kitchen.

Regina blinked deliberately slowly, feeling completely ashamed and took a sip of her coffee before asking in an accusing tone "Well what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Henry gave me his house key so I could come and check on you."

"That's very touching, Miss Swan, but I can assure you-" The mug of coffee was slammed abruptly down onto the counter and Regina was flying out of the kitchen and back up the stairs as the nausea washed back over her.

* * *

Regina was sitting back in her king sized bed, hunched over her laptop with a blanket wrapped around her when Emma entered the bedroom with a glass of water and some toast. She set them down on the bedside table and that was when she noticed the mortified look on the brunette's face. She snuck a peek over Regina's shoulder to see that she was on facebook, and it also appeared, the talk of the town.

**Ruby Lucas** [22:34]

_well this isn't something you see everyday LOL_

Regina gasped at the picture attached to the facebook status. An unflattering shot of her asleep on diner floor surrounded by pieces of glass and wearing only one of her heels.

**Archie Hopper** [22:15]

_Regina, if you ever need to talk about your drinking problem please don't hesitate to come and see me. I'm quite concerned for you after what I just witnessed._

"Pft, drinking problem." She muttered.

She continued scrolling throfeeds he posts but could hear Emma frantically scuffling around in the background. She was looking for her phone and when she found it she started cursing at it. Like she was waiting for something to load and it wasn't loading fast enough. And when Regina refreshed her news feed, she could see why Emma was panicking so much.

**Emma Swan **[07:03]

_babysitting regina, she got hella drunk last night lmfao, selfieeee hahaha_

And Emma's heart sank in terror as Regina hovered the curser over the image underneath.

_*click*_

And now, stretching across the laptop screen was a picture that had received exactly 156 likes in the space of an hour.

"Shit." She heard Emma say from behind her.

"What the hell is this!?" She pivoted the laptop screen towards Emma.

It was a picture of Regina laying in bed, fast asleep with her mouth wide open, she must have been snoring. Beside her Emma stood pulling a goofy face and pointing at the sleeping woman. She looked at the selfie she had taken with a peacefully sleeping, drunk Regina half in amusement and half in shock at her stupidity. It was obvious that Regina was going to see this.

"Shit." Emma said again.

"Is that all you have to say for yourself?"

"Maybe this will teach you not to get shit faced again." Emma raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"You took a _selfie _with me when I was asleep and posted it on facebook for the whole town to see, are you serious?"

Regina would have got up right then if she had the energy and tackled Emma for the humiliation she had caused her. But instead she just groaned and shut the laptop. She had brought this all on herself afterall. So she settled with her usual threat; "I will destroy you, Miss Swan."


End file.
